When it comes to bedroom action, there’s a lot of unsatisfied women out there. In fact, 40% of Australian women are NOT sexually satisfied.*
So what’s holding back the XY’s big ‘O’? Well, sexual hang-ups, for a start.
But there’s a bit more too it than that, says Dr Nikki Goldstein, who is a sexologist, relationship expert and spokesperson for Smile Makers – sexual wellbeing products including vibrators and lubricants for women, which have just launched in Australia and are available at Priceline Pharmacy stores.
Here, Dr Nikki explains Aussie women’s five common sexual hang-ups and how to get over them…
1. Body hang-ups
‘Is that cellulite?’ said no erect man ever. So why are those dimples, or big/small/droopy/pert boobs, belly and other body parts taking up so much of our emotional head-space?
“Most woman at some stage will have ill feelings about their body during a sexual encounter,” explains Dr Nikki. “It’s normal and natural. This might be a reminder to work on self-esteem and question where these beliefs are coming from. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about it. Their reassurance, support and sensitivity to overcome it could be a great asset and exactly what you need.”
35% of women feel sexual confidence is important to their overall sense of attractiveness, according to new research released from Smile Makers.
2. Unable to have an orgasm
Orgasms may be plentiful for some, but for others they’re completely elusive.
“A lot of woman struggle to reach the big O and that’s okay,” says Dr Nikki. “There is nothing wrong with you – it’s a common issue woman experience.”
That doesn’t mean you should give up though. Oh no.
“It’s important to explore other ways of pleasure,” suggests Dr Nikki. “Maybe you will achieve an orgasm more easily through clitoral stimulation? Maybe you need other types of moves and stimuli to turn you on? Have fun exploring and remember not to put too much pressure on yourself, as that pressure will see any chance of an orgasm cease.”
3. Scared of using a vibrator
According to research released by Smile Makers, 57% of women feel a vibrator could help improve their sexual satisfaction. So what’s stopping them from using one?
“Many women are scared of reaching for a vibe because they’re worried their partner might think they are not good enough, or that you’re trying to replace them!” says Dr Nikki. “But if we take into consideration that 80% of woman achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, then this fact needs to be shared! It’s evidence that could be used as a sexual enhancement – not a replacement.”
There’s also, of course, the embarrassment factor.
“It’s time that Australian women feel empowered to let go of the embarrassment and embrace the positive health implications that a vibrator or lubricant can bring to their lives,” explains Dr Nikki. “Sexual satisfaction is something that is important to most women, with many aiming to improve this area of their lives. The use of pleasure products has long been associated with increased satisfaction in the bedroom. The normalisation of how we purchase these products needs to become more mainstream. I think this could have been part of the issue that has stopped women from buying them until now.”
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4. Vaginal dryness
“There’s a myth that a woman shouldn’t need the assistance of a lubricant if she is turned on, but really, this is a product women should be using,” explains Dr Nikki. “Instead of shame, lubricant should be seen as a way to enjoy painless sex. Even if there is no medical reason to use it, lubricant can add extra moisture and ease during sex. And if pleasure products are going to be used, then lube is a great assistance.”
75% of Australian women feel sexual satisfaction is important to their overall wellbeing, yet 4 in 10 are not sexually satisfied, according to Smile Makers research.
5. You don’t perform like a porn star
Who remembers the old ‘Find your Porn Star name’ formula? Where you take your first pet’s name and add it to the street name where you grew up? Mine was Tiger Haven. Nice, huh? I never really lived up to my porn star name but that’s okay because, surprise, not many women do.
“People feel pressured to perform like porn stars in the bedroom because it’s often used as role modelling,” says Dr Nikki. “Don’t focus on what you think you should look like in the bedroom – it will only distract you from enjoying the moment. The focus should be on your pleasure. Porn is not real sex, so why emulate something that is fake?”
ABOUT: Dr Nikki Goldstein is a sexologist and relationship expert, author of #SINGLEBUTDATING and spokesperson for Smile Makers recent launch into the Australian market. The Smile Makers range includes five vibrators: The Millionaire, The Tennis Coach, The Fireman, The Surfer and The Frenchman and two premium lubricants: Little Light Liquid and Generous Gel. Smile Makers was created to normalise sexual wellbeing products for women and is only sold in environments where women feel comfortable shopping. All Smile Makers products are exclusively available at Priceline Pharmacy in Australia.
*Smile Makers research was commissioned to mark the launch of the Smile Makers range. The research looks to unearth the cultural attitudes of Australian women towards sex.
Main Photo by Noah Hinton